When It Feels Like Death Has Won

I am looking forward to the day when death is finally and fully destroyed.

I lie awake in bed overwhelmed by the sting of death and the very darkness seems to suffocate me. Death is a powerful enemy that I am completely powerless to overcome. It can strike at any moment and take away those you care about most, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

 

The past few weeks have been hard for our family. Death has struck a blow that seems too much to bear. My father-in-law passed away suddenly and unexpectedly and we are still dealing with both shock and grief.

Death feels so final, and such finality often proves to be overwhelming. Good memories are a source of grace, but even as I reflect on the good times, death seems to taunt me: “no more of that.” Death has stolen the ability to make any more special memories. No more of Tom’s delicious grilled steak dinners. No more conversations about theology or poetry. No more seeing grandma and grandpa dance with my kids in the living room. We recently celebrated the birthday of our two youngest boys and there was a noticeable and painful absence that will be felt at every birthday celebration now.

I lie awake in bed overwhelmed by the sting of death and the very darkness seems to suffocate me. Death is a powerful enemy that I am completely powerless to overcome. It can strike at any moment and take away those you care about most, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

It feels like death has won.

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