Without God’s word to remind me of truth, I would have felt hopeless. But since I knew that in faithfulness God had afflicted me (Psalm 119:75), I believed that he would bring good out of my pain. Each day, God led me to exactly what I needed.
I discovered the power of God’s word in the pit of despair.
When I was abandoned by my former spouse, I fell headlong into the pit. It was as if I had been caught up in a whirlwind — one that picked me up from my happy, secure life and threw me into a dark well. For days, I sat there, alone, wondering if I had the strength to go on — or if I even wanted to. There was no light; everything in front of me was so black I couldn’t see. I couldn’t imagine living like this forever. I gave up on the idea of ever being happy again.
Before my whirlwind, I’d been reading Psalm 119. I appreciated what it said, but thought it was long, boring, and awfully repetitive. My attitude changed in the pit. The words now felt like cardboard on good days, hollow promises on average days, and cruel taunts on bad ones. I had sought the Lord’s testimonies and been faithful to his word, and yet I was being put to shame (Psalm 119:2, 6). I wondered if God’s promises were true, or if they would fail me as everything else in my life had.
My Soul Clings to Dust
With nowhere else to turn, I kept reading and rereading Psalm 119, looking for hope and light. I remember when I found it.
I was sobbing, looking for relief, when I read, “My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to your word” (Psalm 119:25). These words suddenly took on new meaning. I prayed them, asking God to give me life through his word, because I felt wrung out beyond my strength. I wondered if anything could revive me.