All sexual harassment and assault is sickening and inexcusable. But inside the church, it can be spiritually destructive when the God-given leaders do little to shepherd and protect their flock. In Proverbs 31:9, we are instructed to judge righteously and defend the rights of the poor and needy. The church must do all we can to protect our people from victimization. And sadly, when a church member is victimized through sexual harassment or assault, they become poor and needy, and the church must rise to protect.
In one two-word tweet Alyssa Milano set off a firestorm of victim’s voices throughout Twitter and Facebook. On Sunday night, she issued an invitation for sexual assault victims to make their voice heard:
“Suggested by a friend: ‘If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me Too.” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”
Twenty-four hours later, the response was overwhelming. The magnitude of #MeToo had been retweeted more than a million times on Twitter and over 12 million times on Facebook. Celebrities like Lady Gaga and Debra Messing and women everywhere are tired of remaining silent. On the heels of the Harvey Weinstein sexual assault allegations and the massive cover-up that continues to unfold in the Hollywood industry, victims everywhere want the opportunity to be heard, and they’re hoping it’s finally time.
For the sake of brevity, I won’t attempt to discuss the massively destructive and far-reaching implications of sexual assault on a victim’s life; we know they are complicatedly vast. And as it pertains to the film industry and the wake of Weinstein victims, we’re still waiting on more truth to come to light and justice for the victims. What I want to communicate in this article are truths #MeToo victims can cling to when the sexual assault occurs in our own community or the cover-up happens in the church.
The church’s #MeToo voices
Sadly, some of these #MeToo assaults have taken place in churches, by church leadership, or by other church members and, shamefully, have been swept under the rug, dismissed, and forgotten. Mine was.
I was in my early teens when a church leader began to sexually harass me. I was 25 when I was given the words to describe my experience. In retrospect, the young man I’d spent years thinking of as a “crush” had actually been a child predator. His vulgar, sexually explicit words and innuendos and physical advances were sexual assault—even when he called it “flirting” or just “playing around.”
At the time and without my knowledge, my parents attempted to report the concerning behaviors they’d personally observed for themselves. (They only knew about a quarter of what was actually going on behind the scenes.) Instead of protecting me, the head pastor chose to protect the offender and his family. He wasn’t even addressed. I left the church and lost touch with many of my childhood friends as a coping strategy. In the few years that followed my departure, he would pursue and victimize even more teenagers from inside the church, under the watch and protection of church leadership.
In Lamentations 5:11, the author weeps and cries out to God over the raping of women in Zion and in the towns of Judah saying, “Why do you forget us forever, why do you forsake us for so many days?” He begs the Lord, “Restore us to yourself, O Lord, that we may be restored!” If you are among the #MeToo victims inside the church and you find yourself lamenting too, here’s what I hope to offer you as you work toward healing:
Three encouragements to #MeToo victims in the church
1. God’s wrath is stirred against your assaulter
The sexually immoral have no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God (Eph. 5:5). The Lord hates the wicked and the one who loves violence (Psa. 11:5). They are an abomination to him (Proverbs 15:9).