The Aquila Report

Your independent source for news and commentary from and about conservative, orthodox evangelicals in the Reformed and Presbyterian family of churches

Providence College
  • Biblical
    and Theological
  • Churches
    and Ministries
  • People
    in the News
  • World
    and Life News
  • Lifestyle
    and Reviews
    • Books
    • Movies
    • Music
  • Opinion
    and Commentary
  • General Assembly
    and Synod Reports
    • ARP General Synod
    • EPC General Assembly
    • OPC General Assembly
    • PCA General Assembly
    • PCUSA General Assembly
    • RPCNA Synod
    • URCNA Synod
  • Subscribe
    to Weekly Email
  • Biblical
    and Theological
  • Churches
    and Ministries
  • People
    in the News
  • World
    and Life News
  • Lifestyle
    and Reviews
    • Books
    • Movies
    • Music
  • Opinion
    and Commentary
  • General Assembly
    and Synod Reports
    • ARP General Synod
    • EPC General Assembly
    • OPC General Assembly
    • PCA General Assembly
    • PCUSA General Assembly
    • RPCNA Synod
    • URCNA Synod
  • Subscribe
    to Weekly Email
  • Search
Home/Miscellaneous/Don’t Sing Happy Songs to a Heavy Heart

Don’t Sing Happy Songs to a Heavy Heart

Be gentle with your grieving friends, and don’t press them to talk or to count their blessings when they’re not ready.

Written by Vaneetha Rendall Rsiner | Saturday, June 1, 2019

When trying to come to terms with loss, someone rushing the process along is never helpful. People need space to grieve and to process what they’re facing without feeling judged. Everyone grieves differently; even couples who have lost a child each experience unique grief. Proverbs 14:10 tells us that, “Each heart knows its own sadness.” So instead of singing happy songs to a heavy heart, sit and listen. Pray. Empathize if you can and be quiet if you can’t. 

 

A friend recently broke down sobbing when we were talking.

She said, “I hate my life. I know I need to find joy in it, but I can’t. Everyone tells me I need to come to terms with what’s happened, that I need to cheer up and move on. But that makes it even harder. I feel that I need to be happy or I’m going to be judged.”

As I listened, I was convicted. In my efforts to pull other friends out of the pit, I’ve tried to hurry their grieving along. I was reminded of Proverbs 25:20, “Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda.”

How do you feel when you take off a garment on a cold day? Exposed. Unsafe. Frigid. When we are stripped of our protection, we are exposed to the elements. Forcing someone to listen to happy songs when they are suffering can leave them feeling alone, misunderstood and unprotected.

Vinegar on soda leads to an eruption; when we keep trying to make sad people happy, they can explode in anger. Our efforts to cheer them up can feel heartless.

Singing happy songs to a heavy heart is cruel. Don’t tell grieving people that their pain is a gift. Don’t make them sing praise songs when they don’t want to.

Read More

Related Posts:

  • Be Sad During COVID-19… but Be Sad Differently
  • Songs in the Night
  • What If I Can’t Sing?
  • Those Who Grieve Need to Speak.
  • What We Lost When We Lost Our Hymnals

Subscribe, Follow, Listen

  • email-alt
  • facebook
  • twitter
  • apple-podcasts
  • anchor
Providence College
Northampton Press - Best of the English and American Puritans

Archives

Books

Geerhardus Vos: Reformed Biblical Theologian, Confessional Presbyterian - by Danny Olinger

Special

A Golden Chain
  • About
  • Advertise Here
  • Contact Us
  • Donations
  • Email Alerts
  • Leadership
  • Letters to the Editor
  • Principles and Practices
  • Privacy Policy

Important:

Free Subscription

Aquila Report Email Alerts

Special

5 Solas of the Reformation
  • About
  • Advertise Here
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Principles and Practices
  • RSS Feed
  • Subscribe to Weekly Email Alerts
Providence Christian College - visit

DISCLAIMER: The Aquila Report is a news and information resource. We welcome commentary from readers; for more information visit our Letters to the Editor link. All our content, including commentary and opinion, is intended to be information for our readers and does not necessarily indicate an endorsement by The Aquila Report or its governing board. In order to provide this website free of charge to our readers,  Aquila Report uses a combination of donations, advertisements and affiliate marketing links to  pay its operating costs.

Return to top of page

Website design by Five More Talents · Copyright © 2021 The Aquila Report · Log in