Deconstructing Feminized Fatherhood

Those of us who happened to be more traditionally minded have been looking for ways to re-valorize fatherhood for a long time.

Some people really hate men. Misandry is so commonplace many people taken for granted. This puts men in an interesting quandary–if we object and claim victim status we emasculate ourselves. If we ignore it, it just gets worse as the misanthropes are emboldened by our failure to respond. If we strike back, we’re accused of bullying and misogyny and the cycle begins again.

 

We must live our lives in a larger structure of meaning than we can build for ourselves. If as a father you cannot trust popular culture to provide it for you, where do you look for it?

It is more or less assumed that traditional notions of fatherhood have been debunked. Those of us who happened to be more traditionally minded have been looking for ways to re-valorize fatherhood for a long time.

Back during the 1980s and 90s Dr. James Dobson and Focus on the Family attempted to psychologize it. I think it is safe to say that even though many of his arguments seem sound, many people remained unconvinced.

I think one reason for this is Dobson had already conceded the field. Psychologizing it turned fatherhood inward and made fatherhood mostly a matter of meeting childhood needs for security and discipline. And although those are important things, that didn’t keep people from looking for alternatives to fathers to provide them.

Some people really hate men. Misandry is so commonplace many people taken for granted. This puts men in an interesting quandary–if we object and claim victim status we emasculate ourselves. If we ignore it, it just gets worse as the misanthropes are emboldened by our failure to respond. If we strike back, we’re accused of bullying and misogyny and the cycle begins again.

Mommy Second-Class

Most of the young sensitive guys I know have turned to feminized fatherhood. They’ve become “mommy second-class”.

This has led to all sorts of interesting stuff to watch. One example: a guy ends up competing with his wife (or girl friend) for “most-nurturing”. I’ve even seen guys hurt when a child prefers mommy first-class to him.

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