We are raising people created in the image of God. When we keep that in mind, then we come to see activities in a new light. We come to see that all those things they’re doing are not the center of who they are; they only serve to support who they are. And if that’s the case, then losing the game, or getting cut from the team, or making a B, or losing the class election might actually be the best thing for them. 

My daughter is a volleyball player. And, at least in my opinion, she’s quite good. She works hard, she knows the game, she finds herself in the right place at the right time to help her team. I’m very proud of her.

And I also have to fight the temptation to be the classic sports dad.

It’s a common temptation, I think. It’s the one in which you are convinced you know better than the coach, that your child is being treated unfairly, or that your child isn’t living up to their full sports potential. It’s the one that pulls you out of the bleachers to throw your hands up in the air or want to wait to “have a word” with fans of the other team or the referee. It’s the one that makes you want to spend a few minutes after the game analyzing her play and letting her know your educated opinion on what she should or should not have done.

Maybe you know that temptation, too.

It’s moments like this in which my wife and I have taken to reminding each other of a parenting truth using a simple phrase:

“We’re not raising volleyball players.”

Of course, you can replace “volleyball players” with a number of other things:

• “We’re not raising quarterbacks.”
• “We’re not raising straight A students.”
• “We’re not raising class presidents.”

It’s not that any of those things are wrong or even bad things at all; quite the contrary. They are good things, each and everyone of them. And yet all these things are activities in which our children participate in. That alone is the pragmatic reason that we aren’t “raising volleyball players.” It’s because the astronomical odds are that these activities will eventually cease.

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